the evil of myself..

i just imagine wat person i am..i really hope tat to be a good person in my world..anyway i still cant do it coz i cant be able to control my emotions and attitude as welll...i really hate myself..everytime keep on make my family n frenz worried about me...i just wanna try to be other person n dun ever hope to be myself..i really hate myself till want to die...everything when i feel very stress or under pressure..i will become a mad person like the hell..so i really hope tat to change everything in my life and change my attitude as well...i really dun hope to be evil and make everyone so hurt just bcoz of me especially my lovely grandmom and my parents who are care me so much and try to escape me from the evil world...now i ady face alot of things and can earn money and pay my own fees and ady reach to college and mix with a different of ppl..i feel tat every of my friends can be good to their family or either siblings or to their friends..they can escape them from under pressure..or out of control..i just hope tat to be other n dun hope to be myself...i hate..i hate i hate...some of them who are change me alot but unfortunately i still cant change myself into good...i really cant undersrand actually wat do i hope other than dis...i face alot of things and try to be myself and had learn alot of mistakes from the wrong to be better..
i really hope tat my world will be change change change...on the other hand..i want to be grow up in my life and dun hope to keep myself in evil..pls let me away from my self...i feel very hurt wanna to change...hope i can try my best to be better as well...:)