he make me feel so nice n sad....

i dunno how 2 start our relationship..and how 2 end up our relationship...
i feel very hurt n feel so lonely....
actually i and he already break up and become friends but how come he act like have nothing was happening and still can always play,laugh and kidding wit me...i know we still are friends we can play,kidding and take care each other as a friends but i dun hope that only..i wan couple wit he like hold hand,hug,call he everynite and kiss 2 each otherbut i already feel ok even we already break up but he still take good care of me like how we couple tat time....i really cant understand wats he wan from me even he ady break wit me but i still can feel tat he was around wit me and din ever make me uncomfortable but i still can saw he keep on touch other gul like the staff around thr n keep on do the things tat i not like..he make me feel so hate he when saw he do dis kind of things and feel tat wan 2 punch he and staright away walk out from the place tat i was working and dun hope 2 see he 4ever and ever...................y i need 2 suffer bcoz of he..y??????actually until now i still cant forget he and feel tat wan 2 couple wit he again but i cant do it coz my heart ady broke by he means ady no more......4ever n ever still left a few days he work at papa rich....after tat we ady cant meet anymore somemore we ady no more couple so i tat time i cant even contact wit he or sms n saw he anymore....i know he was a playful boy and like 2 disturd girl like how he did 2 other girl n keep on bully me when we ady break up...but i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i ahte all kind of dis nonsense....its make me so frustrated....even i wan 2 feel all kind of dis but the things tat i really wan it is can couple wit he like how we hold hand 2 each other n kissing 2 each other...tats is call real couple and i dun hope tat we fighting around or he touch other gul hand.......like how he do 2day...i hate it.....idiot bitch....he dare 2 do all kind of dis infront of me but i still need 2 be good 2 he...i really cant understand wat he was thinking n what i was thinking now.....actually i still can find other guy who hv a better choice...but i still pretend like dis n saty at the lonely world n so suffering world wit he...........y?????????y i still hv 2 act coool and y i still love he....