This month i really feel myself so lifeless , useless and helpless but lucky there are still another ppl can accompany me go through all this problem ..there are so many things happening recently , majority of my friend ady got bf especially my best sista chai mei , she ady got the beloved one and she gonna back to her hometown by tmr .. people say when love can change people and now i really can believe it .. just saw many cases when people in love , are totally forget their friend but i wrong say them fault because its also because of my fault due to family problem and personal problem .. should be say Family pro ... there are really alot things happening .. i just hope i can faster finish my training in here and went to Singapore . there are the only my wish .. not matter how hard i cant leave my family and beloved grandmom ... i also need to leave here because i need to earn money fast and need to find the true life of myself .. maybe not going , i also want to stay outside when start training time because i am really stress out of my life because of family problem really make me soo tired and crazy all the time . i just hope they wont give me any stress and pls let me freedom .. i dunwan to make my life soo complicated and dunwan make people around me so tired because of me . can be say that all this time its very tired for me especially i am just finish study and graduated .. need to find hotel for intership is ady become my burden and i really hope can faster find it and faster work .. anyway i am soo worrying about my exam because now my life are just no work and study life .. just sit at home and everyday thinking about my intership stuff and keep on finding hotel ... i feel i am soo lifeless and i am really admit it .. feel i can go to take license and go to work in my father shop but now feel like cant do anything =((( just can sit at home and waiting the tme to pass each day per each day and PRAY HARDER TO GET MY INTERSHIP PLACEMENT * AMITABHA ... i am soo just hope it and now i have my complicated relationship with chris .. i just hope he can faster accept me because within 3 months its really so long for us and we only can meet sometimes .. its really so tiring just hope can get a kl hotel placement and get parents permission to move out for 3 months .. and at the same time also hope can more easy for meet with chris but thats not the main point ... THE MAIN POINT is i just need a quiet place to have my freedom and try to have the reality of myself .. i am really tired and stress and at the same time lifeless , family , relationship , money and job :'(
